Black Milk Cereal

How do you like your breakfast in the morning?

Sugar-laden with a hint of self-loathing?

Perfect! Same as me.

Black Milk is Manchester’s sole Cereal Cafe, dishing up creative creations by the bowlful from the wide array of wonderful, strange and downright bizarre morning delights sourced from around the world.

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But if cereal isn’t your bag (bowl?) Do not despair, Black Milk also takes pride in serving up some of the most monstrous shakes this side of the UK.

Having already had my fill of weetabix for the day, my friend and I dived straight in for a Freakshake, agonising over which one was worth developing the diabetes for.

Having made our choice, we settled into the busy ambiance, attempting and failing not to gawk at the humongous milk floats which left the kitchen in abundance.

Tummy’s rumbling, we ordered a side of S’moreos to get us by whilst our orders got all shook up.

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And what a marvellous decision that was.

A toasted marshmallow, squished between two Oreo halves, drizzled with melted milk chocolate.

It’s every bit as good as it sounds.

Pop one of these babies in your mouth whole. You’ll look ridiculous, but the explosion of marshmallow goo mixed with crunchy biscuit and sweet cream filling will make it oh-so worth it.

Taste buds teased, we patiently awaited our shakes.

…Are you ready?

Because I’m pretty sure this is the milkshake Kelis has been singing about all along:

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Oh…baby.

Let’s take a closer look.

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Nope, your eyes are not deceiving you, that is infact a whole, glistening, gooey, Sticky Toffee Pudding adorning a glass filled with a toffee, caramel shake.

Oh with sticky toffee sauce drizzled all over the glass, just for an extra kick of the good stuff.

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Nestling my straw into the soft, spongey dough, I excitedly got stuck in.

The shake itself was a creamy and passionate affair. Not sickly sweet, but a satisfying massage of intense caramel flavours which tingle against the soft hints of vanilla ice cream.

The portion of Sticky Toffee Pudding simply adds yet more indulgence to this scrummy elixr.

And at Black Milk, more is most certainly more.

The sponge is a perfected cosy consistency, stickly sweet and just the right amount of richness. Enjoy with a scoop of the drizzled, warm, amber sauce and make sure you let a mouthful fall into your shake – the combination of hot and cold is a total gluttonous delight.

Next up, the Triple Salted Caramel Cheesecake Stack (trying saying that 5 times after a self-induced sugar coma).

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But wait!

There’s something missing?

Oh phew, there it is…

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Oh Desmond! What are you like, misplacing the crowning glory like that.

But that’s okay, if thems the size of the slices you offer when you’re sorry – you can make mistakes as often as you like.

The Salted Caramel cheesecake combined a softly-sweet, salted caramel filling with Biscoff crumb with a classic buttery biscuit base. Sumptious, gloriously creamy and completely impossible to leave alone.

Total heaven.

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The shake promised and delivered blissful flavours of salted caramel butter, malted whole milk with a Lotus Biscoff biscuit and lashings of whipped cream for a final flourish.

Naughty?

Exceptionally so.

But that’s what weekends are for (or whatever day you find yourself there).

You can find Black Milk Cereal on the second floor of Afflecks Palace, 52 Church Street in Manchester city center.

Go, leave your inhibitions at the door and allow your inner-child do the ordering. I promise you’ll be totally bowled over by whatever you order.

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