There’s lots that I’m less than useless at.
Executing a joke in the right order, contouring (I just don’t get it), not mouthing the lyrics to songs I listen to while in the gym, geography; but the one thing which pales these endeavours in comparison, is my inability to follow a recipe.
Don’t get me wrong, there are certain occasions where a recipe simply must be followed – any soufflé, pound cake or baked good for example – that is in fact science, whereas cooking for friends, well that’s simply artistry.
There have been instances where I have gone far too rogue from a recipe, rendering it almost inedible; but still I would serve these creations with flourish to loved ones who would murmur positive words of encouragement after registering my erratic hair and harrowed expression after too many hours in the kitchen.
Often though, my resistance to recipes can be somewhat of an ingenious route to a dish du jour – one of which, I will share with you now; a plate which can be whipped up in minutes, but is mighty tasty and will make people believe you’re somewhat of a goddess of the kitchen.
You will need*:
- Jus Rol Ready to Roll Pastry (Mary Berry doesn’t have time to make pastry, and neither do you)
- A sizeable amount of salmon (or two very large, thick fillets)
- Three quarters of a 500g tub of 0% Greek Yoghurt (375g then…)
- 1 crushed clove of garlic
- 1 large handful of dill, chopped
- 1 large handful of parsley, chopped
- 2 tablespoons of wholegrain mustard
- 1 egg
*I don’t always use proper measurements, soz.
Preheat the over to 180°
Combine greek yoghurt, mustard, parsley, dill and garlic in a bowl and mix well.
Cover a baking tray in parchment and lay the pastry out flat. Coat the middle of the pastry from top to bottom with 3/4s of the greek yoghurt mixture, leaving a border of around 4 inches on the right and left side.
Lay the salmon atop the mixture and top with a blanket of the remaining mixture.
Score the left and right side of the pastry, creating strips from the top to the bottom.
Fold the top of the pastry over to meet the salmon, then take two strips of the pastry from either side and overlap them, covering the salmon. Continue this with each set of strips, so to plait down the fillets, until they are completely covered in pastry.
Crack the egg into a cup and brush over the pastry.
Pop into the oven and cook for approximately 30 minutes or until the pastry has grown a glossy golden coat.
Serve with seasonal greens and new potatoes (or whatever the heck you like, just make sure a glass of wine is present too).
Serve nonchalant with an air of modesty.
Enjoy the compliments.